How to Handle a Rough Critique
Maybe I should change the title of this post to "How I Handle a Rough Critique" becasue not everyone does it the same.
When I first got serious about writing I expected to be critiqued. After all, I had an awesome English teacher who showed me that writing is better when you have the help of others. Still, I thought I had a pretty good idea and I really hoped people would like the story.
Okay so I was really hurt by my first few critiques and I kinda wanted to quit. Thank goodness I had already started blogging and came 'out of the closet' with the fact that I'm writer, or else I WOULD'VE quit.
Long story short, I've learned a lot these past two years, but sometimes critiques still hurt. Here's what I do to lessen the pain.
1. Walk Away. Whenever I receive a critique I read through the comments, then I set it aside. Especially if there's a lot of red. I cry a little, have imaginary arguments in my head, spend a couple of days justifying myself, and (when I feel ready) I read it again. Usually it doesn't seem so bad the second time around.
2. Pep talks. I don't tell myself I'm the greatest writer ever, that'll get me nowhere. I tell myself things more like, "They're just trying to help you." and, "This is their raw opinion without knowing me." Sometimes it takes the harshness of the words down a notch.
3. I read my previous work. I think it's good when you're feeling down to go back and see how far you've come. Then you'll have the strength to keep improving.
Hopefully you'll think of these the next time you get a hard critique, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me. Believe me, I understand!
When I first got serious about writing I expected to be critiqued. After all, I had an awesome English teacher who showed me that writing is better when you have the help of others. Still, I thought I had a pretty good idea and I really hoped people would like the story.
Hahahahahaha (Pause for breath) hahahahahahahaha!
Okay so I was really hurt by my first few critiques and I kinda wanted to quit. Thank goodness I had already started blogging and came 'out of the closet' with the fact that I'm writer, or else I WOULD'VE quit.
Long story short, I've learned a lot these past two years, but sometimes critiques still hurt. Here's what I do to lessen the pain.
1. Walk Away. Whenever I receive a critique I read through the comments, then I set it aside. Especially if there's a lot of red. I cry a little, have imaginary arguments in my head, spend a couple of days justifying myself, and (when I feel ready) I read it again. Usually it doesn't seem so bad the second time around.
2. Pep talks. I don't tell myself I'm the greatest writer ever, that'll get me nowhere. I tell myself things more like, "They're just trying to help you." and, "This is their raw opinion without knowing me." Sometimes it takes the harshness of the words down a notch.
3. I read my previous work. I think it's good when you're feeling down to go back and see how far you've come. Then you'll have the strength to keep improving.
Hopefully you'll think of these the next time you get a hard critique, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me. Believe me, I understand!
Comments
I've come around quite a bit from when I received my first few critiques. I was so defensive then, but a good writer has to be objective about their writing and realize when they can improve. I don't take things so personally anymore. Like you said, they're just trying to help, and that is a valuable service in my book (heehee).
I'm glad you didn't quit. You have come so far, and I can't wait to see where you continue to go from here.
And when I'm still shaky, yeah, pep talks definitely help the spirits!
I also think it's important to get multiple opinions... just because one person thinks one thing doesn't mean it's right. Soooooooo important to trust your gut!
But this whole process really is amazing. It changes us.
After I get a rejection for a poem or a short story (just last Friday), I handle it like a harsh critique. I walk away, I think it over, and I read my successful stuff again . . . and then get back to work at writing.
I've learned to take criticism. No, it's rarely comfortable, yes, it stings, but you know what? Those I use? They want to see me succeed. They're on my side. They're only commenting on those things that need tweaking. AND They're right and I see it once I've applied a tourniquet to stop the bleeding, put bandages on the poor thing and set the pieces aside and then come back to it.
To be a good writer we need good critiquers.
Sia McKye OVER COFFEE
Oh my, I can certainly understand your thoughtful advice and how you handle such situations.
However, the most important aspect is that you most certainly move on and learn from the experience. Actually, the experience can make for some interesting reading.
It's all about belief in yourself and the encouragement of others. I've never had a negative or constructive criticism critique. Then again, nobody seems to figure out what the heck I'm writing about.
All the best to you and happy writing.
Gary :)
Maybe earlier in my writing I was a bit more sensitive, but over the years I've developed a thick skin and can now roll with the punches.