Forbidden Love
Well hello there faithful readers (and new initiates)! It's great to see you all this morning! Why am I in such a chipper mood? Well, I FINISHED MY BOOK! Yes, finished. I'm getting ready to send it off for it's first ever query in the next couple of days. Let's just hope it stays finished ;)
In other news, I'm almost at 200 followers! I feel a giveaway coming on....
Now onto the purpose of today's post, which is to participate in the fabulous blog hop hosted by none other than Lilly McFerrin (super cool chick and awesome critiquer). The theme is Forbidden Love and there are prizes involoved including a free query critique to any and all who enter. So get on it!
Without further ado, here's my story:
In other news, I'm almost at 200 followers! I feel a giveaway coming on....
Now onto the purpose of today's post, which is to participate in the fabulous blog hop hosted by none other than Lilly McFerrin (super cool chick and awesome critiquer). The theme is Forbidden Love and there are prizes involoved including a free query critique to any and all who enter. So get on it!
Without further ado, here's my story:
Rena Lowrey stood on the edge of her world. The train
rickited by not ten feet in front of her, stinging her face and causing her
brown hair to fly into her nose and stick to her lips. The horn blared as the
last car passed, pushing her backwards with the force.
Chase Graten stood on the other side, that devastating half
smile crossing his lips. His skin was dark with the sun and his shirt frayed at
the edges. Proof of just how far apart his world was from hers.
He crossed the tracks, sweeping Rena into his arms and
spinning her around.
Rena sighed into his shoulder. "How long do you think
we have?"
"A minute, two if we're lucky."
He set her on the ground and took her hand. "Ready to
run?"
"Do you think they'll catch us?"
"Most likely, The Watchers won't let us get far."
Rena nodded. She knew
how dangerous it was to love someone on the other side of the tracks. It meant
giving up her life of safety and privilege for the life of a fugitive. She
pulled at his hand and their legs started to move.
It ended before it began.
A huge winged creature swooped down from the sky, scooping
them up in his leathery arms. Rena squirmed and kicked, but soon they were too high
off the ground.
Chase found her arm. "I will always
love you, this doesn't change anything."
She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but the wind
caught in her throat and the words wouldn't come.
The Watcher dropped them into pile of sand and Rena had to
claw her way out, coughing in sputtering.
Chase was by her side in a moment making sure
she was okay.
“We’re alive,” she said. But she didn’t know how long it
would last. No one ever survived when The Watchers came for them.

Comments
And CONGRATS!!! on finishing your novel. Good luck with querying!
Forbidden Love - LOVE it! Definitely got me hooked. Is this the beginning of your next novel?
Loved your 'wrong side of the tracks' take on Forbidden Love, it started out like a traditional tale then pulled its punches as the Watcher arrived! Hope they manage to outwit them and survive...like no one else ever has!
and this piece was outstanding!
Also, I enjoyed your story, especially the ambiguous ending. Good job!
Great piece.
The ending leaves me wanting to read more.
Actually for a while there at the beginning, you had me picturing a "Bonnie and Clyde" type duo, I figured they were a couple about to be on the run from the law!
Thanks for entering :)